LALALALALALALA!

haha.

This week (so far) has been rather depressing for me. My mum has been reminding me over and over again that i m leaving for another country soon next year by myself. To her, this is bad as she would be lonely. However for me it seems like relieve.

I think that i m seriously out of place of my family. My family are closely knitted to the immediate family. While i m like some hippie standing in the middle of a family that has just gone to a funeral. I like being alone and independent when i have the means to, while my parents like to be together. Although i have to admit, loneliness sometimes get to me, i still prefer the 'alone' part. maybe when i m older and experiencing it i would think the other way.

Haha. It must seem sad that i am not interested in getting hooked up that i m such a loser..... well thats probably because i have problems in engaging the opposite sex. There doesnt seem to have anything to say to them. Probably because of the decade that i have spent in a girls school. Yeah. A decade. I seem to lose my telephone line to them already. I used to be able to speak to a guy properly. Talking abt pokemon and on and on. But now, all gone. Maybe i would still be able to talk to the younger version of the opposite sex, but then, nah.....

I m really in need of a guy-friend. LOL. I rarely talk to guys in my class, unless needed.... and the one who i talk most to who is a guy is brandon. But then its him that start topics, so its not really me who is leading and i m only answering questions and adding a little personal response like literature.... sigh....

And also, i cant help but insult guys at acquaintance level. Like Armani from ibscrewed.net . LOL. I insulted him by calling him baka...... but then i wasnt meaning scolding meaning, but in the teasing way cos he was feeling proud that he was able to use kanji.... hmm.... guys on different wavelengths with me.

And also another known fact in my social circle inkbelle: and :teenwrecko: and christine that i m ignoring this guy that used to be in my school....... But then i m still sorta pissed that he used the same reason twice to explain his blew up and ignoring of my comment. it sorta made me feel used. and i also din think that he was that sincere in giving apologies. which made me continue ignoring him. and also cos i din want to confront him.

haha. LOL. somehow i ended up feeling more down after writing this............

The atmosphere right now is like the start of the song that i m listening to.

Perfume
君のことは　何もかもを
捨ててきたの　alone again
写真ひとつ　残らずに
それですべて終わるから　I still

translation: ( its not accurate )
Because you threw everything away,
You are alone again,
Not even a photograph remaining,
That it seems that it has ended entirely, I still

Its sound a little like me. I threw almost everything away when i came here. Except for a couple of yearbooks and medals and msn contacts. Now i feel as if everything was hanging by one strand of poor quality thread. And that those aged are slowly dropping. It seems so shallow at times.....

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